I Feel Sick

In an effort to write about my anxiety today, while in a panic, I wrote this. This is not going to be an uplifting post, but hey, that’s life. It will get better.

Back pain is back, strong. Weakness, dizzy, nauseous. Why is this happening so much?
I’m very tired.
Tired of not knowing what is real. Especially in my own body.
It’s exhausting.
Just saying that, I feel a little better.
This shit sucks.
Tingles in my arms, neck, fingers, back.
Everyday it’s something new.
But I can’t just turn it off. I have to accept it as it is, and know that it’s
Part of me.
There is something, actually a lot, that I need to process.
I’m discovering how to live my life as an adult, without my parents,
at a time when I’m more independent than my partner.
And unfortunately, work goes own even when life is hard.
Tingles in leg. Still feel nauseous and dizzy.
Back pain strong.
But somehow I feel more at peace.
This is part of me.
Part of my process.
Anxiety is a nicer word than panic, but that’s what this is.
My mind is in a panic,
And my body is catching up.
My emotions left behind, mixed up,
To be interpreted.
I feel sick.

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