Not Invited

As soon as I had the thought, “Wow, I’m feeling really good,” anxiety waltzed back in, uninvited.

All anxiety is linked with some kind of physical sensation(s). I think most people experience it in one way everytime, such as increased heart rate, shortness of breath, etc. Mine changes all the time. Actually, the physical sensations I have may in fact be completely unrelated, but due to hypocondriatic (is this a word?) tendencies and stress, my anxiety adds much more meaning to them. It’s so annoying, and right now I’m on a trip to my favorite place, so it is definitely unwelcome.

But it’s always unwelcome. Anxiety and panic are never invited. Unfortunately, the more I try to push it away, the more stubborn it is about staying. I think it’s time to start doing my scheduled panic time again. 10 minutes a day where I let go, and actually allow all of my panic to happen – one stressful thought after another – and allow the physical changes to happen. In this case, I actually do invite it in on my own terms, as much as I hate it.

In my experience it has worked really well. Seeing as how my throat feels tight, my limbs are a bit tingly, and I feel somewhat weak, I suppose I should open up, and invite it in.

And then let it float on by.

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